Return to Journey 8

As I had earlier planned, I spent the first week of my holiday at my best friend’s place even though I knew my parents would not like the idea; especially my mum. I was to come back to uni after that to start preparing for my exams. But towards the end of that week, I found out that my dad had health issues.

If it had been in the past, on hearing that, I would have just been momentarily worried about it, only to forget after a short while. This time, I found myself being genuinely worried for him. It also happened that that was the week of his birthday (I didn’t remember that though).

After considering a lot of things I decided to go home for a week. It was definitely not an easy decision for me as I kept going back and forth with it. I knew within myself that I wanted to be there for my parents even if it was for a short period of time.

I must have stayed away from home for so long because coming back and listening to all the loud voices and reprimanding was difficult to deal with. Everything just felt out of place; my quiet space was interrupted and that was only the first night!

In the first couple of days, there were times that I desperately wished I was back at my accommodation. But, even those moments were short lived.

There were moments of laughter; even with my parents mostly at work or sleeping in their rooms, the times we spent together were altogether pleasant. So much so that I even had rare moments of acting like a child.

It was such a fulfilling time that I didn’t mind worsening my injury just to do what they wanted. I couldn’t help wishing that each time we spent together would be like this or even better.

It’s that time of the year again; the last exams of the year are about to start. Except this time around, not only are these the finals of the year, but also that of my undergraduate degree. It’s hard to believe!

It feels like just a short while ago, I was preparing to come to uni. It’s hard to believe that it’s been three years already. As I think on this, I try to recall how it all started.

I remember coming to uni with all these big plans and ideas of things I had to achieve before leaving. I was definitely very zealous from the onset.

I started out with the determination to do so much that only after a couple of months at uni I started suffering from panic attacks. I wanted to be involved in/with everything; so much to do, in so little time.

I must have bitten off more than I could chew; I was quick to realise the impact. By second year, I needed no one to remind me that there is such a thing as being over ambitious.

Since I was used to being responsible for myself even whilst living with my parents, I can’t claim that being by myself helped become an independent adult like some uni students. But I can evidently say in my time here, I have learnt some of life’s vital lessons.

By nature, I am not someone that fully understands the concept of nostalgia. However, I do know that after I leave uni, I would always look back fondly at this place and this time of my life.

By the start of last week, my finals were to begin. With three papers in a row, I knew it was going to be a difficult and tense week. I tried to read as much as possible in advance since I don’t do well with last minute revision and I need really good grades.

By the day of the first exam, I went in thinking, “Ok, this is it. Today would determine how the rest of my exams would go.” It was so nerve wrecking but somehow I got through it.

The moment when the invigilator said that we should stop writing, I knew I was going to be fine after all. The exam had gone well. I don’t think I could have done much better than that.

At that point, I remembered that I wasn’t in this alone. That I have a God that is with me as He has always been; through the waters and through the fire. I could trust Him to see me through the remaining papers.

The end of the exams would bring decisions about my future. While I am almost fully convinced that I would be going to Nigeria for a year, I am not too sure of what will happen before I leave.

I know that I will need a job but the search for one has not been easy; sometimes it has been downright demotivating.

But in that moment when I told myself not to dwell on something I couldn’t fix, I received a potential job offer. Without applying, without enquiring, it just fell in my lap.

Even though it is not definite that I have the job yet, the excitement I felt after the phone call was exhilarating. I was reminded again of something I am often so quick to forget – that God knows my every need even more than I do and He would never be late in providing them.