In order to do some work and prepare for my exams, I decided not to go home for Christmas. For one, I needed the space to myself. We never do anything for Christmas. It would be too depressing to just sit at home doing nothing again or have to go to a friend’s house to celebrate it.
Everyone I told thought it was strange that I wanted to be alone; they couldn’t wait to see their family. Since we’ve never been particularly close in my family, I couldn’t understand their world.
I had made my decision, so I prepared myself for just that. I couldn’t be arsed to cook and chose to order-in instead. I was so wrapped up in my plans that even when my sister told me she wanted to spend Christmas with me, I felt reluctant to agree.
The part of me that’s anal about following through set plans didn’t want her to come before Christmas. Rather than get excited about not spending it alone and enjoying the company of my sister, all I could think of was the fact that my plans would be ruined. I just couldn’t afford that.
As I thought on this, I realised just how sad a life that was. I regarded my plans more important than being involved with even my own sibling. I loved my solitude so much that the presence of another person seemed too bothersome.
For a while now, I have been working on my relationship with people, so I decided to forgo my plans no matter how inconvenient and unusual that was for me. I invited my sister to come on Christmas Eve and stay for a week.
During this time, it has been noisy, tiring and downright frustrating sometimes. But, as I think back on the past few days, I realise I wouldn’t have traded them for anything in the world.
My usually ‘controlled-in-all-situations’ self was squealing over everything and anything. Once again I learnt the importance of human relationships. I realised that it is something that can never be replaced or compared with anything in this world.
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