I have never thought of myself as a genius. Neither have I ever considered myself the best at anything as there is always someone better than me. However, I have always held the believe that no one can be “me”.
Yes, we all know we are our own individual and no matter how similar someone is to another, they still cannot be that person. All it takes is a simple fingerprint test and the facade is broken.
For me, being different transcends that. It encompasses my identity. It fills me with a sense of pride. It elevates my self-worth. Sadly, I find myself practically basking in my own glory. After all, I am “me”!
During the Christmas holiday from school, I went back to my former job as a temporary staff. On my first day, back there, I met a new employee that had started just two weeks before. As I was introducing myself, he mentioned that he knew who I was and that he had heard a lot about me. Then came that familiar sense of accomplishment; I might not be the best but I am good at what I do and I know it. I tried to hide my grin as I walked away.
During my three week stay there, I was back to dealing with jobs that no one wanted; getting things done in good speed, completing work that people found difficult and on occasion, even before my help was requested, I was offering it already. I was in my zone. I enjoyed been looked up to.
On one of such days that I had offered help that had not been solicited, my colleague praised me so much that I started to feel uncomfortable. The usual smugness on my face was replaced with discomfort. The Glory was not mine to take. It never was but I seem to forget that half the time.
In my head, I always directed all praises to God but my heart knew different. I was humble in my head but not in my heart. I sat at my table that day, seeing myself for who I was.
I knew I could not help myself. It was a feature so ingrained in my person. I can only call to the One to whom all Honour and Glory and Power belongs. It is constantly my prayer that God would deliver me from pride and take all Glory in my life. I pray for Him to remind me that everything I might believe I am or makes me “me” are all but gifts from a Loving God bestowed upon me.
generationlac 