I am me!

I have never thought of myself as a genius. Neither have I ever considered myself the best at anything as there is always someone better than me. However, I have always held the believe that no one can be “me”.

 

Yes, we all know we are our own individual and no matter how similar someone is to another, they still cannot be that person. All it takes is a simple fingerprint test and the facade is broken. 

 

For me, being different transcends that. It encompasses my identity. It fills me with a sense of pride. It elevates my self-worth. Sadly, I find myself practically basking in my own glory. After all, I am “me”!

 

During the Christmas holiday from school, I went back to my former job as a temporary staff. On my first day, back there, I met a new employee that had started just two weeks before. As I was introducing myself, he mentioned that he knew who I was and that he had heard a lot about me. Then came that familiar sense of accomplishment; I might not be the best but I am good at what I do and I know it. I tried to hide my grin as I walked away.

 

During my three week stay there, I was back to dealing with jobs that no one wanted; getting things done in good speed, completing work that people found difficult and on occasion, even before my help was requested, I was offering it already. I was in my zone. I enjoyed been looked up to.

 

On one of such days that I had offered help that had not been solicited, my colleague praised me so much that I started to feel uncomfortable. The usual smugness on my face was replaced with discomfort. The Glory was not mine to take. It never was but I seem to forget that half the time.

 

In my head, I always directed all praises to God but my heart knew different. I was humble in my head but not in my heart. I sat at my table that day, seeing myself for who I was.

 

I knew I could not help myself. It was a feature so ingrained in my person. I can only call to the One to whom all Honour and Glory and Power belongs. It is constantly my prayer that God would deliver me from pride and take all Glory in my life.  I pray for Him to remind me that everything I might believe I am or makes me “me” are all but gifts from a Loving God bestowed upon me.

Ebenezer

Recently, l was having a conversation with one of my very good friends and somehow, we got talking about how I used to strongly dislike almost everyone. That might sound like a funny sentence but for me that was reality.

I had had so much happen around me that further sealed that thought. I saw almost no good in people and believed no one. I had a cynical explanation for almost every nice act that people did.

To simply put it, I was a mess.

But somewhere along the way, God guided me to Himself. In the moment when I felt farthest from God, He pulled me to Himself with His endless love. It was a replica of the story of the prodigal son that found his way home.

As we continued our conversation, it dawned on me just how far God has brought me from who I used to be. I smile so much when I hear people talk about how easily I relate with others knowing who I used to be.

Often, I realise that I get so caught up with trying to be a “better” me that forget to appreciate all that God has done for me. While it is often said that we should burn the old bridges and not look back, I find that for me to truly appreciate the Lord’s mercy in my life, I must understand just how far He has brought me out from the miry clay.

I am so thankful and grateful that I can say, the Lord is my Ebenezer! So far has the Lord helped me.

 

“Samuel took a single rock and set it upright between Mizpah and Shen. He named it “Ebenezer” (Rock of Help), saying, “This marks the place where GOD helped us.”” 1 Samuel 7:12 (MSG)

Death has Died!

Why is there so much suffering in the world? Why do kids die? Why are people desperately wicked?

Questions like this come up whenever people want to argue against the existence of a loving God.

Even as a Christian, I have sometimes had these questions in my heart too. During our last bible study, we decided to have a time of fellowship where we would talk about any questions we had relating to Christianity and life in general.

As something that had popped up in one of our bible study sessions, I decided to ask the question, “How do we answer unbelievers who ask that if God exists, why does He allow horrible things to happen to the innocent? How do you explain the death of their two-week-old baby to a couple?”

While we pondered on these things, someone made a comment that stuck with me. She said that we really don’t know. While we might try to find answers to every question, we are not God and we cannot comprehend His mind. The best we can probably offer such people is just to support and comfort them in any way we have opportunity to.

The explanation brought this song, Death has Died (Andy Mineo), to mind. The only place we can get comfort is in our Lord. It is in remembering that He killed death over 2000 years ago, when He rose from the grave. We can encourage those around us with these words. The promise that one day Jesus with come back and usher in a new world without pain or suffering is our succour.

Today, might look bleak and hopeless. But our Lord that conquered the grave is ever near us. If we would rest on His bosom, He would speak those reassuring words to us, “Death, hell, and the grave has died!”.

“…then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” 1 Corinthians 15:54-55 (KJV)

 

Ungrateful Me

I want more!

For me that was such an everyday phrase. I would constantly throw pity parties for myself lamenting my lot: If only my parents were a bit richer. If only they spent a bit more money on me. If only my job paid a bit better… On and on the list goes.

A few weeks ago, I got half of the score for one of the modules. As you can imagine the first thought that came to me again was, if only…

Although I had gotten one of the top grades, there were still people that did better than I did. Rather than being encouraged about the result, my only thought was that it could have been better. God did, after all, say His children will be the head and not tail.

As I thought about this, the Spirit was kind enough to remind me that I was being a brat. I had ignored all that I should be thankful for and only sought more.

I could not help but feel ashamed of myself. But what could I do? It had become my lifestyle. I said a quick prayer asking God to give me a grateful heart and closed the results.

God being God, knew exactly what I needed. Few minutes after that, I opened my devotional for the day. It was titled “Do you want to be wealthy?” On seeing this, I thought it was going to be a lesson about trusting God for us to be blessed with wealth in the physical sense but it was not so.

The key verse was, “Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith” – Proverbs 15:16 (KJV). The writer talked about how she had been dissatisfied with her not-so-colourful but full wardrobe. The person went to say that at the end of the day, God showed her how ungrateful she had been and that there are so many people in the world that cannot comprehend having as much as she does.

Reading this, all I could see was myself. I am constantly consumed with achieving earthly gains that I forget all I ought to be thankful for, including the salvation of my soul.

I was reminded that all earthly gains are just that, earthly! I can’t take them with me when I leave this world. I saw my sorry state and all I could do was call on Him who is able to renew the heart and the soul. O, that I might have a grateful heart!

 

“For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?”(KJV 16:26 Matthew)

Reminisce (Blog Anniversary)

A few years ago, while having one of our endless conversations, my best friend and I talked about the things we felt called to do outside of the regularly going to church every Sunday.

We wanted an avenue where we could share the little that God had put in our hearts with people from every corner of the world… That was the start GenerationLAC.

We decided to make it a weekly event; sharing ideas, pains, successes, failures, tests and testimonies with others who might gain something from it. Feeling inspired to go more in-depth along the line, Journey to me was birthed. Pages of writing telling the life story of one of us, letting others on a similar journey know they’re not alone, they don’t need to be perfect, but to keep striving for better with God.

It has indeed been a journey!

We have had moments when we felt so inspired that we would schedule posts two weeks in advance, and we have had moments where it felt like Heaven was quiet… or maybe we just weren’t open to listening patiently enough to gain insight.

I remember one of such time, we were together in her room at the university, writing and getting rid of the things we had written because it just “didn’t feel right”. We sat there for hours just getting more and more distressed; those were difficult times indeed! But God never left us in such situations, He always made a way out.

There were times when we were so discouraged and distracted by the activities of this world, so much so that we could not post anything, but the Holy Spirit always led us back.

Two years ago, I went to Nigeria (my birth country) for a service that kept me away for a long while, and as a result the blog was left dormant. Although we were thousands of miles apart, every now and then, we discussed the things we were inspired by God to write.

We tried to start again when I went back to the UK – and we did for a short while – but life had its way and once again we are apart. However, the blog never completely left our minds. We are continually grateful for all that God has done through us, with us and will still do through us (and with us).

We are but two young women in our little worlds wanting to be of use in our Father’s vineyard. Please pray for/with us, that the Good Lord that started with us, will continue with us till the very end.

Shalom.

Song of the Week – Nothing is Impossible (Planetshakers)

For as long as I can remember, I have always been bad at resisting temptations when it comes to things that I shouldn’t have but really want.

I’d do the typical lip-service prayer, with tears, that mean nothing at the end of the day because I won’t let go of my sin.

A few months ago, I finally realised that it wasn’t that God wasn’t answering my prayer, but that I was hanging on to my sin like a lifeline. I wouldn’t let go of it!

It took years of battle with the same sin for me to realise that there’s absolutely nothing that God can’t do. All I had to do was sincerely not want to fall into the same sinful trap, and have faith that God can, and will, give me the strength to fight and resist. I prayed and meant it; had faith that, even though I had been kept in the same bondage of sin since I can remember, it doesn’t mean that God can’t break me free.

I have found freedom from my stronghold for a few months now. Even though to some that might not seem like a long time, to me it’s like the difference between where the sun rises and where it sets.

As if that wasn’t enough evidence of how God can make the impossible, possible, He showed me more of it last week.

I’d been struggling with writing my personal statement and applying to uni for my master’s degree because the course I wanted was far from what I studied for my undergrad.

Last Sunday night, I finally gave it to God and asked for help with my personal statement and my application. Monday morning I got my breakthrough! I wrote my personal statement and applied to a few universities, from which I found one I really wanted to go to. The next day, I got an offer from, not just any uni, but the one I had the desire for in my heart.

This song resonates with me because God has done so many things in my life that I never thought possible. I hope you find God to be a God who can move all the mountains that seem impossible in your lives too.

Shalom

Song of the Week – Stop the World (Matthew West)

As I begrudgingly made my way to church that morning, I could not help but feel sorry for myself. I had had no free day for the past three weeks. If it was not work, it was church or some other activity that I needed to do.

The weekend before, we had been busy with a friend’s wedding, only to get back on Monday and still go to work. By the end of week, I was feeling very tired. I was struggling with being unwell and extremely tired from all I had to do.

Waking up for church was definitely not an easy feat. “Do I absolutely have to go?” “There’s work again on Monday, I’m going to be tired for another whole week”.

On and on I moaned my lot. I had become so tied up with things to do that making time for God feels like asking for too much.

Somehow, I managed to get myself ready but I was not feeling good. As my custom is, I put on my headphones to listen to anything that would make me feel better. While flickering through my playlist, I heard this song. This was not the first time I would hear this song, but each time I did, it was just what I needed.

Like the musician, I needed the world to stop so I could spend some time with my Lord.  I realised even though I was complaining so much, I still managed to make time for other activities, time which I should have spent with God.

I can only pray for God to help keep my focus on Him rather than the bustling going on all around me.

Mirror to the World

Often and time again, I have heard preachers and teachers alike say that we Christians are the Bible that the world is reading now. That people no longer bother to read the Word of God to know what Christianity is all about.

I remember the preachers and teachers emphasising how we have to live a Godly life to show the world that Christianity is all about serving God in truth. They would often make reference to the verse of the scripture where the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch because they were Christ-like (Acts 11:26).

While I am familiar with the whole story and do try to be mindful of my actions as a Christian, I never thought deeply about how it might apply to me directly.

Recently, I was going through a phase that I can’t really put into words. It felt like a battle I had to fight alone. While trying to figure what was right from what was not, a friend I had recently reconnected with called me. During the course of the conversation he asked, “Have you still got your Christian experiences?”

That threw me! while it is a question I try to ask myself every now and then, I never thought someone else would ask me directly. He went on to explain the things he had seen in me that had encouraged and challenged him. He hoped I had kept my faith while away and that caused him to ask the question.

All the traits he mentioned he had seen in me were part of my everyday life; I didn’t see anything that special to them, but he did. He noticed my actions, even the ones I thought no one would dwell on.

This got me thinking…. There have been times when I knew something I did was wrong but just passed it off as something I could pray about later. I realised, then, how wrong such an uncaring attitude was.

That conversation with my friend made me realise that I alone might not bear the consequences of my actions. Someone, somewhere, is bound to be affected by it; whether for good or bad.

I realised just how much responsibility lies with me and every other Christian out there. The fact that our actions, knowingly or unknowingly might be the deciding factor for whether someone else joins the Faith or not is a heavy responsibility. However, it is one that we are able to bear if we reach out to God for help.

The world is watching me and you, will we be found true to our Christian profession?

Song of the Week – Superhuman (Andy Mineo)

“I like people that are religious like you”, “I’ve always thought of you as very holy”, “You are an example to others”, “I thought you are like the poster-girl for church” on and on.

On numerous occasions, I have had to listen to comments like this. At first, I thought nothing of it; they were just passing comments. But as time went on they only got worse. Eventually, I tried defending myself that I was far from all they said, but that served little to no purpose – they thought I was being humble.

Time and time again, I tried to figure out what I said or did that gave people the impression that I had Christianity all figured out but I couldn’t see it. Is giving a testimony all it takes? Going for mid-week meetings every now and then? Coming early to church? These are all the basic things expected of us as Christian so why is there a hype over it?

In no time, I found myself trapped in a corner. Unable to show my short comings, having to keep up with an image that I never asked for. Only if they knew how inadequate I am! How much I struggle!

As I listened to this song; especially the chorus, I couldn’t help but be comforted. I don’t have to be someone else just to please people or meet their expectations – church people or not.

I’m a product of Grace…. I don’t have to be great because my God is!

Be Encouraged

Over a year ago, I met a woman that challenged me to read the Gospel according to Saint John. As I was going through the chapters, there were a number of portions that left me deep in thought.

One of such is the latter verses of Chapter 9 where Jesus healed the man that had been blind from birth.

At the time of this miracle, Jesus was starting to be a thorn in the side of the Pharisees. They could not stand the fact that His teachings discredited all that they held dear. They were sure that if left alone, He would draw all their followers away from them so they went about pronouncing all that He did to be of the devil (Matthew 12:24).

The Pharisees called the parents of the man that had been blind to confirm if he truly he was born blind, not wanting to believe Jesus. For fear of being thrown out of the synagogue, his parents acted ignorant, saying that they did not know how their son now saw even though he was born blind (John 9:22).

What they failed to realise was that in trying to gain the approval of men, they denied God. Understandably, as humans, we generally enjoy being among the majority. Anything that would make us the odd one out is not acceptable. But, is this a stance we should hold even if it means denying God?

Contrary to the actions of his parents, the once blind man, while not knowing that Jesus was the Son of God, held on to his confession that he had been healed by Jesus. Inevitably, that meant he would be thrown out of the synagogue but it didn’t matter because holding on to what was true was more important to him. The Lord rewarded him for his faith by revealing that He is the Son of God and saving him from his life of sin.

As I read on, I couldn’t help but question myself, if I had been in this young man’s position, would I have been able to stand up for the truth even though it would mean being shunned by people?

Jesus already said that as He was rejected by men, so would we be rejected for being His disciples. But He also said that we should be of good cheer, He that overcame the world would always be with us.

 

“These things I have spoken unto you…… In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 (KJV)

“Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution…. But continue in thou the things which thou hast learned…” – II Timothy 3:12, 14 (KJV)